Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
