i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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