Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
