Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
