There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
