Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize