I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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