Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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