I heard we made out
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Couch. On fire.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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