it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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