YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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