I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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