why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
