just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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