Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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