She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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