my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
