Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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