she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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