so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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