He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
