Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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