btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
