he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
