I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
