I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
