Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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