I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
