I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
