Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
