I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
