bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
