We're facebook friends in real life
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
