i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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