you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
She announced her abortion via fbk
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
