help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
