Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
