I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
