remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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