Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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