I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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