I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Randomize
