Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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