and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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