Cold hands, warm shart.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
