According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
