Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
