Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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