Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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