im holly from the hills drunk
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
