Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
