Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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