I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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