I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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