wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
