I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
