Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
