dude i'm inner monologue high
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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