Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
