is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
