On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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